


Without Fear, My Love

by roman_numeral



Series: The Old Ones [3]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/F, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:54:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25873168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roman_numeral/pseuds/roman_numeral
Summary: Basically what the tags sayTakes place after Oh, My Love, How My Heart Bleeds For You
Relationships: Booker | Sebastien le Livre/Nicky | Nicolo di Genova, Nile Freeman/Quynh | Noriko
Series: The Old Ones [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1871323
Kudos: 46





	Without Fear, My Love

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is mainly about Nicky and Booker, Nile and Quynh are very, very minor. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy the fic, kudos and comments are appreciated. 
> 
> I have no beta so all errors are mine, hopefully there aren't a lot :)

  


It doesn’t happen slowly, nor does it happen fast. It sort of just happens. It’s just Booker and Nicky in China, helping refugees escape the corrupt and inhumane government. Nile and Quynh are on the other side of the world dealing with similar problems there.

Their safehouse is a small rundown stone house with one shower and one room that’s their kitchen, their living room, and their sleeping room all in one.

While the house is too small for two grown men, they make it work. After all, Nicky and Booker have known each other for over three hundred years. They’ve gone through so much together. Although they don’t talk about it, they are each other’s best friend. No one living knows them better than each other and so that allows a certain laid back intimacy that might look strange to outsiders.

Because of their current circumstances, they share the same bed. Neither of them has ever made a big deal out of it, it is what it is, as simple as that. Sometimes, when the mission has been too bloody and neither wants to wait for the other to be done with their shower, they both shower at the same time. After three hundred years of knowing each other, it’s not awkward or uncomfortable for them.

Once in a while they eat out. Sometimes Nicky orders for Booker and sometimes Booker orders for Nicky. Sometimes they eat off of each other’s plate. More than once they’ve been confused as a couple. It used to hurt Nicky when he was asked about his ‘boyfriend’ but not anymore, now they take it in stride and sometimes they correct the person and sometimes they don’t.

Now you may read this and say, that’s a buildup to a relationship, but Booker would disagree. To Booker it feels like it happened all of a sudden.

One day they come back from a bar, they’re not drunk, but they are tipsy, and they collapse into the lumpy bed.

And then, all of a sudden Nicky’s looming over him and then his lips are on Bookers.

Now, Booker’s not blind and he’s over three hundred years old, he’s experimented. But to him Nicky is just Nicky. Nicky with his calm demeanor and deadly skills. Nicky who smiles with his eyes more than his lips. Nicky who still speaks with an Italian accent despite living all over the world for a thousand years. Nicky who… has soft lips and knows how to use his tongue.

Without even meaning to, Booker moans. Nicky takes that as encouragement and kisses Booker’s neck. Everything’s fine, until Booker feels the weight of Nicky’s necklaces against his chest. He pushes Nicky back, gets up, and promptly leaves the small ‘home’.

The night is warm and yet Booker still shivers. He’s alone with his thoughts for a while. He doesn’t want to think about what just happened but there’s no way not to. He liked the kiss, there’s no denying that. Even now his body flushes with warmth as he thinks about it. He was enjoying those kisses. And then, that small weight of the cross and the medallion, representations of Nicky and Yusuf.

Booker runs his hand through his hair.

“I’m sorry if I overstepped.” Booker jumps up in surprise. “I was caught up in the moment,” Nicky says. His eyes are sincere and he’s running a hand up and down his arm as if to comfort himself.

“I…” Booker doesn’t really know what to say. “We’ve both had a few to drink, things happened.” He says.

“I didn’t do it because I’m tipsy.” Nicky confesses.

And Booker’s heart begins to thump hard. His blue eyes land on Nicky’s necklace. “I… I can’t be a rebound,” he says what he really fears.

Nicky grabs his necklace, touches the medallion. “It’s been fifty years, I think it’s a little late for a rebound.”

“I can’t replace him, Nicky.”

“No one can replace him.”

“Then what is it? A one night stand? Is that what you want?”

Nicky shakes his head. “No.”

Booker has a lot of questions, but he can’t voice them. Nicky’s his friend, Nicky has seen him at his worst, has forgiven his horrible betrayal, he doesn’t want to lose that friendship, doesn’t want to compromise it in any way. 

“I…I don’t want to ruin this friendship.” Nicky says as if he had read his mind. “Booker, I don’t want to lose you. If you tell me you’re not interested at all, I will drop it. We will never mention this ever again, it’ll be like it never happened. But… I don’t want to go ten, twenty years down the road and ask myself what could have been. Aren’t you curious Booker? Of where this could lead if we let it. If we stop letting fear control us?” He whispers the last part. 

Booker looks at Nicky. He had never before been curious. He had never before thought about a possible romantic relationship with him. But now presented with the question and the possibility…

“Nicky,” he starts and the pauses. “I…I’m afraid.” He says. “I can’t measure up to Joe. I’m afraid that I’ll just disappoint you.”

Nicky shakes his head. “You’ve never disappointed me, Booker.”

“How can you say that? What I did to you, Joe, and Andy-”

“It was long ago, and you did it out of grief, believe it or not I can understand that. And stop comparing yourself with Joe, you aren’t him and I don’t want you to be him. I want you to be you.”

“And afterwards, when Joe comes back and you no longer need me, what then? Will you just throw me away?”

Nicky huffs in annoyance. “Do you think so little of me, that I would discard someone I love so easily.”

Love?

“What you and Joe had, I’ve never seen that in my life. I’ve never seen such passion, such commitment, that doesn’t just disappear.”

“You’re right it doesn’t. Yusuf will always be in my heart. And I know you’re a big enough man to deal with that. Because I also know your wife meant a lot to you and I would never hold that against you. You and I have lived a long time and we will continue to live a long time. It’s up to you on how you want to spend that time. But whatever you decide, don’t let fear control you. That’s no way to live. Even us immortals have to take leaps of faith sometimes. But I leave it up to you. I just want you to know that that kiss wasn’t spontaneous or the alcohol, it was something I’ve been thinking about for a long time.” Nicky says with a soft voice and all of the sincerity in the world. 

Booker stays behind, starring at the mountains where the sun is rising behind them. For the past hundred years his life has been the same; mission after mission, helping those who need it the most. For the past fifty years, Nicky has been at his side.

Nicky has always brought a certain peace with him. When he’s alone, or even with Nile and Quynh, he feels a certain isolation that sometimes is hard to shake off. But when it’s Nicky with him even in a run-down hotel, it feels like home.

Does he want this? Does he see himself in a romantic relationship with Nicky? He’s shocked when the answer is a resonant YES. His heart leaps at the possibility of him and Nicky together. Booker takes a deep breath. He supposes it’s his brain that’s been opposed to the idea all this time. Which makes sense. When he thinks about it, all he feels is fear. Fear that he’s not good enough, fear that he’s just a temporary replacement until Joe shows up again. But Nicky is not a selfish person, he knows that. The guy is the most giving person he knows. And he would never hurt anyone.

Frustrated and confused, Booker decides to go for a walk. Without meaning to he walks for most of the morning and doesn’t get back home until the afternoon.

Nicky is waiting for him, sitting on the small table with a forlorn look in his face. He sighs in relief when he sees Booker. “I thought I scared you away,” he says. “If I said too much, if I overstepped, I’m sorry. We don’t have to speak of it again. If you want me to leave I can. We can finish the mission, and we can go our separate ways-”

“No, don’t.” Booker goes over to the sink, He rinses the sweat off his face and dries himself with a paper towel. He sits next to Nicky. “I’m not very good with words,” he starts. “Never have been. So, don’t expect any grand declarations of love, like you’re used to. But I can cook, so maybe that’ll make up for it.”

A small smile slowly starts appearing on Nicky’s face.

“And uh, I just I want you to know that I’m afraid, I’m insecure, and sometimes I lose myself in my head. If you’re willing to deal with that…then yeah, I would love to give this a shot, too see where this can go.”

Nicky grabs Booker’s hand. “Everything you just said is nothing new to me, I know that’s how you feel about yourself. But let me tell you what I see and what I know. You’re a man who’s lost a lot. You’re a man who after years of drowning was willing to seek help and pull yourself out of that ugly state of mind. You’re a man who helps people, who constantly puts himself in danger for others. Yes, sometimes you get moody, but with everything we’ve seen and experienced, how could you not. And who in this world is perfect?” For a second Booker wants to interrupt and say, ‘you’re pretty perfect,’ but he knows Nicky will only roll his eyes and not take him seriously. “Booker, there’s a lot more to you then you realize, so much good in word and deed. And I’m more than willing to deal with it all.”

Slowly he leans in for a kiss, Booker meets him halfway. And it’s like fireworks going off in his brain and all over his body. This feels right. He’s supposed to be here right now, in this moment, kissing Nicolo di Genova.

After the mission two weeks later, they go to Africa, there they settle in a nice hotel suite on the top floor and wait for Nile and Quynh.

Booker wakes up to the sound of Nicky taking a shower. Nicky’s necklace catches his eyes. As always, the cross and pendant are there. But there’s been an addition to it. It’s a cross with two horizontal lines. Booker smiles. Nicky catches him with it on his hands.

“I know you’re not super religious, but I remember you wearing one when we were fighting against Germany. And sometimes you quote scripture when you’re having a rough day.” He explains. “I thought a Lorraine cross was appropriate. Is that alright?”

Booker nods. And all of a sudden he knows everything will be okay. Nicky has a huge heart with plenty of room for him and Joe.

“Are you okay?” Nicky asks because Booker has gone very silent.

Again, Booker nods. “Just, overwhelmingly happy,” he admits. He looks at Nicky and wonders how he got so lucky. He puts the necklace on him and leans in for a kiss. He doesn’t stop there. Nicky’s already naked and he smells wonderful from his shower. Booker guides him to the bed and he falls into a cloud of soft white linen. Booker kisses him, his jaw line, his neck, slowly he makes a trail down to his navel.

Their plans to eat out for brunch are ruined, and also their plans to go to a museum, and their plans for the next day also go out the window. Instead they spend the rest of the week in bed, ordering hotel food and making plans to go to France and eat at every restaurant there.

When Quynh and Nile arrive at the hotel and sneak into the suit to surprise them, they’re greeted with loud moans and ecstatic words of ‘more’ and ‘harder’.

With a raised eyebrow Nile looks at Quynh. “Well, took them long enough.”

Quynh giggles. “Indeed.”

“Should we get our own rooms?”

“No, this is a nice suite. And we can get our revenge later on,” she says as she leans in for a kiss.

  



End file.
